Avert the Biblical Apocalypse - a Conspiracy Theory




About: Ugly pirate roaming the seas in search of Treasure.

There is nothing more that I enjoy than playing about with metaphysical ideas and the concept of God is always an interesting one that should be investigated every now and again. Don't get me wrong, I do not believe in God and I am actually a devout atheist myself, but still like to keep an open mind and particularly enjoy playing around with far out left-field ideas and most particularly, conspiracy theories. If you are religious and are likely to be easily offended, then please do not read any further!

This Instructable will give you an unusual insight into the nature of religion and politics and how together they are, or could be, in league with each other to create a Biblical Apocalypse. Armed with this information, the Apocalypse could be averted altogether.

What I would like to propose here WILL help our understanding of God and the impending Apocalypse BUT is not intended to be 100% serious. How can the two go together? Please keep an open mind and read on for enlightenment!

Step 1: Hypothesis

One theory is that the idea of God fills a gap in our understanding and, as true scientists, this could possibly just be labelled as simply, the 'Unknown'. Many leading scientists are actually believers in some kind of religion or most particularly God himself, which, personally I find a little bit strange. Even some of our leading politicians openly profess to be religious, but then I've never had a particularly high regard for politicians anyway. Back in history, only a few hundred years ago, people would be more superstitious and believe in magic or ghosts and spirits.

Is God an alien from outer space who visited this planet some thousands of years ago and returns every now and again to check up on things? The important thing here, is that what I am about to propose - is it actually plausible or not?

The apocalypse is mentioned in revelations in the bible and, if we have a better understanding of what God himself might be and what his intentions are, maybe we will be better equipped to either avert the apocalypse or just plain survive it?

Step 2: God the Intergalactic Alien

Let us now go deeper into the depths of the absurd and postulate exactly what is the nature of this alien God creature. Do we believe that he is the benevolent person that he is made out to be in the church? Or is this simply wishful thinking? With all the terrible suffering that is on the planet, it is easy to think that God is not the most caring of people, which could easily be explained by suggesting that God was not a person at all but actually an alien from outer space, who would not really care about the human race other than perhaps for his own selfish purposes. So what would this alien creature's purposes possibly be? Is it possible that it is just playing some kind of malicious game with us? I think not!

Step 3: Adam and Eve

Okay, by now I hope that you will have accepted the idea that God might be an alien, no matter how absurd it might sound. Now we need to work out what this alien creature is doing on this planet and what his intentions might be. Personally, I find it hard to believe that these creatures would waste all those valuable resources and time in travelling all this way through space just to have a bit of a laugh with us. It is more likely that they have some other serious intention that we are simply not aware of at this time. There might be some pointers in the Bible, but I am not an expert on biblical text and have forgotten most of it.

I do however, remember the stories about Adam and Eve and believe that this might give us a big clue. Human beings are so incredibly different from all the other organisms on this planet and so is it not possible that we actually came from outer space ourselves? Is it possible that God put Adam and Eve, themselves aliens from outerspace, on planet Earth to colonise it some thousands of years ago? So what kind of alien would God himself actually be, would he be human or maybe something else? Why did he put Adam and Eve on this planet?

Step 4: God's Intentions for the Human Race

So if God is not some kind of insane joker, then he must have some kind of rational plan for us human beings. Logically, I can only think of one possible reason, and that this is linked to current observations that we are witnessing on this planet at the moment .

Most scientists seem to agree that the human population is very quickly out stripping its resources and will reach a maximum population number from which it will then experience some kind of colony collapse, as often happens in nature. Why would this very intelligent God alien allow this to happen? What possible benefit would this be to anybody? On the face of it, it just seems to be doomed to failure?

Personally, I believe that it is possible that God is waiting for the human species to achieve maximum population numbers and then will return with his friends and a big spaceship to harvest his crop ........... of human beings!

Step 5: Averting or Surviving the Harvest.

Since it seems that it may be all about numbers, if, somehow we were able to stop the human species from increasing in number, stabilise the population and then slowly reduce its population, this would indicate to God that his plans have been a failure and hopefully it is not worth him travelling all that distance in his spaceship to get a half baked harvest? If we knew how far away he was and how much fuel his spaceship consumed, we could calculate the point at which harvest is worth it or not. Hopefully, the numbers would never get big enough for God to make the long journey and he would simply abandon the project altogether.

The other possibility is that we join forces with this god alien and join in with his plans. If we look at the behaviour of some of our leading political figures, we could easily be forgiven that they are already part of the alien gods' conspiracy. Everything in our economies is geared towards increasing productivity, using more resources and making ourselves more successful and increasing our overall population. In this conspiracy, our political leaders would be saved the ravages of the harvest by undertaking gods will.

Step 6: Conclusion

All good conspiracy theories should have a conclusion. We have now come full circle and the obvious conclusion to be made is that the reason that some politicians, so called respected members of our community, are religious i.e. they worship God, is that they are part of the alien conspiracy. As we all know, politicians are renowned for lying and this case is no different. They pretend that God is a benevolent human being when actually he is an intergalactic alien farmer who has no investment in the human species other than as a simple crop to be harvested. Who could blame them for that? The politicians, however, are in league with these aliens simply to save their own souls in the same way that they lie to us to get voted in at the next election. But now we know the truth!

I sincerely hope that this short piece will help people understand a little bit about the impending human colony collapse and possibly enable us to do something about it. Please do not support the alien conspiracy!

Please Vote NOW!

Voting will help save the planet



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    54 Discussions

    SJP Woodcuts

    4 years ago on Introduction

    I would agree about Einstein he didn't believe in a personal god. Dawkins once said that Einstein used the word god to mean a intelligent mind or spirit. Einstein did not believe in a personal God, who answers prayers and interferes in the universe. But he did believe in an intelligent mind or spirit, which created the universe with its immutable laws. I posted his phrase mostly because it was quite interesting not because i thought it was proof of God. By the way i do believe in a personal God.

    Heres a question, if your right (on there being no God) what do i have to lose when i die? If I'm right you have everything to lose when you die.

    Jesus died for the world so that we could live with him. All we have to do is accept his gift and believe that he died for us.

    For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life John 3:16

    1 reply

    Hello pvcpipefan. I totally respect the fact that you believe in a personal God and would not think lesser of you for it. Actually, you have just asked the most intelligent question anybody has asked me for several months.

    My personal theory, based on a huge amount of research and many years of practise, is that death needs to be something final and totally absolute otherwise there would be no motivation to get out of bed and do something useful. If I thought that I was going to heaven, then I would become complacent and not really take life seriously enough.

    When I get out of bed each day I want to go back to bed at night feeling that I have achieved something meaningful. It might be just a kind word to an old lady who returns my words with an incredible look in her eyes or feeling the terrible suffering of a rabbit that I have just shot. Very simple things that sometimes have profound meaning.

    If the grim finality of death was not constantly with me I would think I had plenty of time to do these things when in reality I could be erased from existence at any moment.

    Over the period of quite a few years I learnt to think of death as a bit of a friend or helpful companion who was there to remind me about the fact that life is short and final and should be lived in the very best and meaningful way possible, whatever that might be, on a minute by minute basis. I even find myself, for some bizarre reason, looking forward to the time that I die thinking I would say to the 'Grim Reaper':

    "Go on then my friend, I've lived my life to the full, I've tried to do the right thing. I've not complained when things go wrong so if it's my time to die then go for it!"

    When I die, I promise you I will have nothing to lose. I will look my friend the Reaper in the eye and we will smile at each other knowingly. Maybe you live life the same way I do and you will feel the same, I don't know?


    4 years ago

    I just thought id like to say, I am not a christian, but your personification of god is the reason you misunderstand it so much. I understand this is more or less a "just for fun" kind of thing, but all through this ible i see tons of resentment, almost poking fun at a religious belief you obviously havent observed without bias. you do have a nice hypothesis, it jusy seems you let your emotions get in the way and littered something that could have been better with what looks like to me as ridicule. good idea, bad presentation. I hope you find this to be constructive criticism.

    1 reply

    Yes, this is a very useful comment. I think I understand where you are coming from and I'm quite happy to think of god as some unknowable mysterious force, but this is far beyond the scope of this conspiracy theory. I personally don't bare any resentment towards any religion as it has never caused me personally any direct harm although I feel sorry for all the innocent people blown up in the twin towers etc. The point I'm trying to explain is 'Human Colony Collapse' and the whole God thing is just a whimsical sideline. I agree that I have fallen into the personification of god quagmire and I agree with you that it could have been so much more, but the idea was to keep it really simple and really dumb. I think if I had gone on about the 'Unknowable', the important message would have been confused and lost. Religions I don't really mind, but politicians, I just don't like politicians.


    4 years ago on Introduction

    I am a Christian, and I believe what the bible says. I think what tecwyn was trying to do with this ble, was to give us a different point of view or scenario for an apocalypse, since the whole zombie, nuclear war, and asteroid thingy is pretty much played out. I like his other ble's, and this take on this. it really reminds me of the old episode of the twilight zone called " to serve man". as a Christian, I feel like after the rapture occurs, that the governments of the world will use an alien excuse for the disappearances of the Christians. I enjoyed this ble, and it doesn't shake my faith in god, it just gives me something different from the tired old cookie cutter apocalyptic stories going on movies and books now. I look forward to seeing more from you tecwyn.

    2 replies

    PS. Politicians will always try to placate their followers, which is their inevitable downfall. Instead, I choose to challenge my followers.


    Well said hedgesci ! I like to look at the whole apocalypse concept from many different angles and I apologise that Christianity caught got up in these meanderings. However, I cant just 'not say something' as it will upset my followers here, as, like you mentioned, the main point is the creation of a different scenario. Whether this scenario is believable is really not the point and it's certainly not designed to shake anybody's believe in God. It's a more playful view of mankind's situation with a rather sinister twist. Or is it? When Hollywood chooses to take up my idea as a film script, I hope that they portray the aliens as 'innocent' everyday farmers going about their normal business in the galaxy, rather than the stereotypical evil creatures out to get the 'good' humans. I'd love to see a scene with one of the alien farmers in the pub drinking a hard earned pint of cider after a busy day on the tractor, for example.♦


    2 years ago

    Im not a religious person , but i enjoy listening to what others believe, and argue about their god , the being who created life , on earth,
    You could pray to a rock , or the tree stump god , and if the one god really exist , im sure he knows you are praying to him ,
    Everyone has to have an openmind to every theory , even alien , it would be ignorant not to , all religions are semilar with different characters , and rules to follow writen by man , not a "god" ,
    And to think that we are the only intelligent life in space is ridiculous!
    If you can travel light years in a space ship using humans as fuel , we are the stupid ones

    google "moral panic "definition hmm familiar

    A world like startrek would be awesone !

    SJP Woodcuts

    4 years ago on Introduction

    "In view of such harmony in the cosmos which I, with my limited human mind, am able to recognize, there are yet people who say there is no God. But what makes me really angry is that they quote me for support of such views."(Albert Einstein) I wanted to make something clear, ISLAMIC TERRORISTS destroyed the twin towers not Christians. Islams holy book the Quran tells its people to practice jihad. THE BIBLE TEACHES PEACE!

    2 replies

    Thank you for your interesting comment pvcpipefan. I don't know a great deal about Einstein's beliefs, but it seems like he does believe in God, but not the 'personal god' thing. There's a big difference. A personal god is a childish, naïve view of it all not at all dissimilar to my 'god is an intergalactic farmer'. Einstein's God is probably something altogether more intangible and indescribable where words cease to have any usefulness.

    I think, as far as I'm aware, the Quran also teaches peace and it doesn't matter to me which god believers destroyed the towers, but what I do know is they did not have the same God understanding as Einstein. I hope that makes sense!

    DashPKTecwyn Twmffat

    Reply 3 years ago

    I will pray for you, so you can become saved by Jesus Christ! Please try visiting a local christian church, god loves you and wants to have a relationship with you, he wants you to know him!


    3 years ago

    This is complete nonsense. GOD is the one and onlyg god, we cannot even imagine what he looks like. He has no beginning and no end. He sent his son, Jesus, down to earth to be raised human and to show everyone the glory of god and tobl make people christians so that they could go to heaven. GOD loves all of us and forgives us of plour sins. Jesus died on the cross so that we wouldn't have to. 3 dqys after he died on earth, he rose again and went back to heaven. GOD loves YOU and wants to see you in heaven. Tell GOD that you are orry for your sins ans you want to be reborn, and then you will become a child of GOD. contact you're nearest Christian church for more questions. And hurry, because god is going to take his true christians to heaven in the blink of an eye and leave non christians on earth to face trials. He will come like a thief of the night. God will take the survivors thatvturned Christian to heaven, but will put the others in hell for ETERNITY. GOD be with you all!


    3 years ago

    I personally believe that this whole intructable has not a bit of "intructable" vibe in it. This whole thing is just an offense to those like me who believe in God.

    If God is supposedly an alien than please explain to me how he told thousands of people throughout the bible what was to happen and how it was to fall into place and how he was correct?

    God loved the world and humans in it to the point of where he sacrifice his only son to save them.

    Along side in the Bible God also talks of the existence of other aliens and other God's as of which he created, but yet he still rules supreme over them all because he was and is Creator of every last thing In the galaxy.

    ISIS and the Muslim terrorists are spreading hate and death across the globe following their quaron. The religion of Christianity spreads peace and holiness thought the people of the world. One way that people try too "burn" Christians is by saying stuff like, "Oh well why would god send the Israelites to kill the Canaanites if he is truly a God of love?" The answer is that God cannot allow anything un-holy to travel unpunished in his lands. There is a consequence for everything.

    Also could you explain the idea of plagues accross the globe to me and how they just so happened to happen right after God promised they would happen as a punishment?

    God is the Alpha, and Omega. The beginning, and the end.
    And he reigns supreme.

    SJP Woodcuts

    4 years ago on Introduction

    This has been an interesting conversation. I appreciate your respective comments and intelligent answers. Wish you the best!

    1 reply

    Yes it's certainly interesting, thank you. I wish you the very best as well and believe you will live to be an excellent human being! 3>

    I have come to interpret that God is indeed not an alien. This conspiracy is an outrageous offense to those who do believe in God. But, however, if you would like to view this scientifically, i would say that in the oblivion that is probably consider before space and time, and being was created from the Big Bang and the explosion from the collision of planets and creation of stars. Secondly, in many ways, i could completely see where you came up with the mentioning of the apocalypse from the bible, because it is seen in the book of Revelation. Sure, they don't talk about zombies, but they do discuss the end of the world.

    1 reply

    Thank you for your comment Karmen. In reply, I would say 'If you believe in something then you should be willing to have that belief challenged'. As far as being offensive, what is offensive about portraying god as an innocent farmer? Or is it the alien part that you object to? Or do you object to someone poking fun at what seems like a rather childish and naive belief?

    Apart from that, you may be missing the whole point of this 'Ible and that is 'human colony collapse' and 'what are we going to do about it?'

    and finally - I have seen the aliens and a mother ship - I have also done my research on people who have seen them though certain plants/technology or through just things called 'alien abductions' - I have no need to argue or debate this matter but rather my question is a simple one which would be "what do they want, do they come in peace, do they care about us or are they just using/exploiting us the same way we use/exploit other animals/rest of the planet" - I do love the analogy of god is an alien because he is the evidence is overwhelming and also the analogy of the earth/etc is his farm - question is what is he farming re us - i dont think we are to be eaten but perhaps used to build/extract resources/control the earth for their agenda re farming or whatever the agenda is

    1 reply

    lets also throw this in.. i love cooking.. http://www.ufoinfo.com/news/ezekielswheels.shtml